I attended my high school reunion last Saturday night for a few hours and then went and finished the evening at my neighborhood reunion down the street. Yes, this is a photo of me singing "Wild Thing" like no one has ever heard before. And no one, once they've heard my version, ever wants to be able to hear, think or remember ever again. In fact, I've heard of people being institutionalized for a period after listening to my singing. Mostly for psychotic episodes that seem to be laced with a pining to ram sharp objects into one ear and out the other. I guess you could say my singing should come with a warning label attached - kind of like prescription drugs. "Not recommended for pregnant or nursing mothers as there have been instances where miscarriage occurs or lactating ceases. If you are over the age of 35, deafness may occur accompanied with a longing to harm or maim anyone blocking your path to the door. May cause vomiting if ingested audibly for more than 15 seconds. If diarrhea, fainting, head spinning or hair loss occur, stop listening immediately and contact your doctor." This particular evening, I saw none of those occurrences, but I think I saw the wait staff giving inoculations at the rear of the bar just prior to my taking the stage.
It seems that life always has bizarre twists and turns to it, but the older I get, the more I believe that some of us steer into strange odysseys all on our own. Mostly because we welcome variety and partly because, at least for me, the less I worry about what others think of me and the more I care about not suppressing who I am, the better off I am emotionally. That's not to say that in every instance I can let my hair down and be myself. But I'm learning.
I arrived in New York Friday evening, via Canada, because it's quicker. It's always interesting conversing with border guards. I have gotten to a point where I like to "engage" them; especially after the time one guard ransacked my vehicle and picked through my bras, panties and socks like a chimp looking for nits. You'd think I was built like Pamela Anderson and was hiding a bomb the size of South Africa in each cup the way he went through my lingerie. Finally, I snatched my Victoria's Secret underwire out of his hands and said, "Enough already. You saw the self-help book on the back seat, the Bible, and the book about herbal remedies. Aren't you guys supposed to be trained in profiling? My mom's sick, I'm praying, and I'm losing my mind. That's all." He looked stunned and I felt like I was going to pass out - because I knew that either I had crossed a line and was in big trouble, or he was merely a kindly soul, interested in women's underwear and willing to take pity on me - especially after realizing he hadn't found the Holy Grail of lacy, voluminous brassieres. Instead, he'd gotten the booby prize (literally) in my hopeful, yet "still-commanding-a-presence," 34B's. He decided to let me go, but not before recommending a good book to read about grief and dying.
Just when it felt like I had been swallowed by a black hole and I'd never come out the other side to New York, I made it and was asked by that border guard whether I was bringing anything into the country valued at more than $1,000. "Just me and my car," I said wearily. Two days later, as I once again entered Canada on my way back to Michigan, the question was whether I was bringing anything declarable into their country. "Just this huge pimple here," I said cheerily, pointing to the burgeoning growth between my nose and upper lip - something that began the day of my reunion and sent me into a panic. I mean, I'm 49 years old. I can't remember the last time I've had a pimple and now one decides to show it's ugly face on the day of my high school reunion some 32 years later? High school memories seemingly were back with a vengeance in every way, shape and form.
When the guard continued to stare at his computer screen, never once glancing my way, I continued. "Honestly, this one deserves a first and middle name," I chuckled and glanced up the highway. He darted a look back, shook his head, gave me back my passport and said, "All set."
Druck says to leave these people alone. He says they get stand-up comedy (or drive-through actually) by thousands of people everyday. I disagree. Because I've had my own share of their version of stand-up comedy and so, it's the least I can do for these men and women who occasionally put me through the wringer with their idiotic questions and their own lame jokes.
Was it worth the trip? Let me say that I vacillated as to whether to go or not up until the last minute. Mostly because I don't do well in large groups and partly because I don't do well in small groups either. I'm inherently shy. If I were born a cat, I'd be feral, always watching from the edge of the woods, looking at the cats sitting in the windows inside their warm cozy homes, well-fed and loved. I'd sit there, wishing I could summon up the courage to walk up to someone's patio door and see if they'd find me lovely and worthwhile and want to take me in. But my feralness would take over and I'd fear the rejection more than the possibility of the door opening. I'd rather stay outside the group and feel just a little cold and a lot lonely than to take a chance and see if someone would let me in. Because, for me, rejection is more painful than frost-bitten nights at the edge of the woods.
32 years later, I took a chance and stepped inside the warm VFW hall where the reunion took place. My heart pounded and I did only a little stammering.
Unfortunately, earlier in the evening I had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up way late, uncertain as to whether it was 6:15 am the next day or 6:15 pm the night of the reunion. Initially, I thought, "OK. I slept through that. No reason to cry over spilt milk." Then when I realized it was 6:15 pm, I thought, "Too late. Can't go. Get some take-out and stay home." After pacing back and forth for about 30 seconds, I decided to go, causing me to sprint around in a panic. I was late to the reunion and, on top of that, I hadn't eaten much all day. When someone walked up to me to say all kinds of nice things and engage me in conversation, I had a plate of food in my hand and my feralness took over. Feeling faint, I talked for a minute and then said, "I have to sit down and eat before I pass out." She nodded and I ran off to eat, but I discovered that I could barely swallow my food. I didn't see Margaret again that evening and I still wish I had connected with her. I wanted to talk about so many things with that woman, and if things had gone differently (not dozing off, making sure I ate properly), I would have enjoyed her company.
Afterward, I found myself wandering and talking to people and, as the night progressed, I felt better. I felt calmer. Because these were all good people. Some told stories of things we had done together which made me realize that while I have changed over the years, many things about me haven't, and most of those things are quite comical.
So was it worth it? Yes. In every way. It reminded me that people change, people grow, we tolerate and accept more about ourselves and others. We take each day for what it is: a gift. And we learn to share the gifts we have already attained with others, and learn not to fear rejection of those gifts. We also learn to accept the gifts of others graciously.
I can't wait for the next reunion. Because next time, I'll set my alarm, will eat like a pig all day prior, and I'll look for my dear friend, Margaret.
Copyright 2009 liamsgrandma







