I posted this on Facebook a week or so ago and wanted to post it here to keep my writing here. I seem to regularly post on Facebook rather than here and I need to change that:
Yesterday, I was listening to Christmas songs while making soap. One of my favorite songs is, "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas." Even during my younger years, before leaving the nest, I thought of it as my family's song. "Through the years, we all will be together, if the fates allow...." As a child I used to pray every night, as I lay in bed, that we'd all always be together. That prayer has lasted into my adulthood, but it took a different twist, adding my children, and then my grandson.
The song holds so much nostalgia for me. Last night, as we decorated the tree, I had Christmas music playing as we always do on such an occasion. Just as I unwrapped this ornament with my dad's beautiful face in it, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" began to play. I gasped and stood there, holding the ornament, tears welling in my eyes. I felt that dad was there right then, with us, enjoying watching his family decorating their tree, sending me my favorite song just as I looked into his eyes again. It was very hard to hold back emotion for about 30 minutes after that and I had to continually blink back tears. I don't think anyone noticed because, being an old broad, I've gotten quite good at hiding emotions when necessary.
Dad, I love you, I miss you and mom, and I can still see her, years ago, when this song would play, her head swaying back and forth to the music, her red lipstick donned on Christmas eve, singing the words to me, gently, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas; let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight...."
